Have you ever felt you are not good enough especially when someone directly or indirectly tells you so? Did you hit hard at yourself when you heard this especially when you know you are doing your best? You work hard, very hard, yet you are not still given the credit you deserve. Have you been killing yourself by doing more in order to be better?

We all have had such a feeling once in our life from a family member, your boss or a superior at the work place, classroom teacher and so on. These are just some of the external sources that add to your internalised ‘I am not good enough’ feelings. It should be noted that to live a fulfilling life, you need to believe in what you do.

Most of us do what we do not because we find happiness in it but because we want others to be happy with what we are doing. Such selflessness can be seen especially in our careers where we work at ungodly hours or carry out many different tasks just to meet up with the expectations for others and the least you want to hear from anyone is that ‘you are not good enough’.

This can be difficult to comprehend and may affect your productivity. From birth, everyone wants to gain that love and affection from others especially caregivers. We all want to be loved, of course, that is what we all deserve to have. Your mind becomes a workshop of different thoughts when faced in a situation when someone says you are not good enough. This especially in a case where you have spent a very long time doing what you have always thought to be your best.

Recommended read if you are feeling stuck and need to start again from zero

Maybe I should have done better. The ‘what ifs’ become too many and you end up tearing your mind apart. Just because someone says you are not good enough doesn’t actually mean you really are not. Ignore them all and do what your gut feeling tells you. No one is perfect! There’s none who can claim perfection in what they do. It is wrong to think ‘I couldn’t do it the way they wanted, so I am not good enough’. Don’t fall into despair because of what people think you can or you cannot do. From my experience, people pay very little attention when you are doing it well, but all of a sudden, their attention is called upon when something goes wrong.

Failure to achieve anything doesn’t mean you cannot do it. If you can look at failure like a trigger to learn more, then such words from a superior or whoever will mean nothing to you. However, many people find it difficult to believe because it usually comes from the people you never expected to say such in the first place.

It has never been a bad thing to be selfish for your own sake. I have found efficiency in doing things because I love and find happiness doing them and not because I wish to please people. When you do something with ease, it is difficult for someone to understand that you are even doing something. As an adult, you need to realise that only you can change yourself and be who you wish to be and not be defined by others.