In July this year, I was preparing my luggage to travel for my brother’s wedding when suddenly my son came up to me and asked “Mum, why do people get married?” I looked straight in his eyes. I saw in his eyes the feeling of “if you don’t give me a good response, I will still ask more”. Then it came to dawn on me that it was not only love that made me get married to my husband. Nevertheless, it would have been the answer I would give anybody who asked before that time. Is it really “love” that will make two people to commit themselves to live a life together “for better or for worse”? What would your response be to this question?

This article will explore some of these reasons. Please also use the comments section if you disagree or agree with this article. It’s always nice to read from others.

Is love the only reason to get married?

This is a question that is rarely asked by love birds. They are so deep in love that the only thing in their mind is to get married. Is it really the only thing that should make two people to decide to tie the knots? My son’s question tickled my mind. I did ask myself if I got married because of love or something else.

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Society has always treated those who did not marry for love as being unlucky, manipulated upon or exploited. We sympathise with them since we know “they are not doing the right thing”. This is because we have always been taught that “love” is the only reason for a couple to get married.

Marriage is more than just love

There are many other reasons why people get married. Some look for a

• good co-parent,
• some for companionship,
• financial security,
• religious beliefs,
• tribal affiliations,
• legal status and many others. Some combine some of the above with love.

Is it easy to fall in/fall out of love?

Just as you can fall quickly in love, that’s how easily you can fall out of it. After all what will you do if the other partner does not want the relationship? This is therefore the clear reason why love should not be the basis for a long-term commitment. Maybe you should get this right – I am not saying that love shouldn’t be one of the reasons for you getting married. What I am trying to say is that it should not be the first thing on your list.

Ask other questions and get to know your partner more

• Can he or she cook?
• Is he/she in debt?
• Have they got any underline medical condition that you need to know,
• what is their relationship like with other family members?
• Are they controlling when it comes to money, friends, places you can and can’t go?

Try to explore some of these questions a bit more before saying ‘I do’.

Love as a foundation of marriage

It can be considered strong when it is in its beginning, but the least scissure can make it crack. This means you can’t use love as the foundation of your wedding. It will come crumbling the moment you start seeing issues. The situation becomes worse when kids are involved.

Marriage is more than just love. It should be looked at in the sense of mutual respect, compatibility, and shared goals.