He maybe the right guy you have been dying to have all your life, but knowing that he is, may be really challenging. This article is a beautiful love story from a friend Eileen.
Searching for the right man in your life is not something to be taken lightly. We are talking here about someone you will spend the whole of your life on earth with. Someone you will raise your kids and grow old together.
Eileen will be 49 years in January 2019 was married for 15 years. She got married to her childhood friend, Joe. They lived 4 blocks away from each other and spent most of their time together when they were young.
“I can still remember how he was very protective of me and treated me with so much respect”. Said Eileen. Once a woman is protected, respected and she feels loved; she will happily do anything for you.
Your future partner needs to respect your talents, time and opinions. He can disagree with you but should not second-guess you. If he physically abuses you, then that is a great warning signal – run for your life. Eileen continues.
Eileen and Joe had common interests. They will go hiking together, visit the park, volunteer at an old people’s home and an orphanage in their neighborhood.
Having a common interest in a relationship is very important. Even if you don’t have common interests, it is best if partners can willingly try out some of the activities the other enjoys.
“What I felt when I was with Joe before getting married to him was happiness. The normal happiness you will have with a girlfriend and nothing else. We shared similar values. Intelligent and kindhearted…he could get any girl in school and I was not worried about that at all. I was rather happy for him when he was happy with a girl or will take his side when there was a fight,” Eileen narrated.
In a relationship, once there is trust, the couple will be happy. Having an element of true friendship in a relationship is very important. If you are not friends with him, why should you date him in the first place? You need more than sex and intimacy in a relationship because Love is not the only reason to tie the knots
“After college, we pursued different fields and took different directions. We were always in touch through mails and phone calls,” she said. “We met at least once a year – that was during Christmas or Easter” she added.
Long distance relationships are not easy and It is difficult too but partners can make it if they have similar goals in mind. Communication is the key to any successful relationship no matter the distance. Partners need to share their feelings, dreams and hopes. They need to listen carefully to what the other is saying.
Read – what Nayella did to stay positive in her most distressed moments. You might gain some useful tips.
After about 5 years without seeing each other, Eileen and Joe met each other for Christmas with their families. You are not obliged to love his friends and family members but it’ll be nice if you can just get along. If you have issues with his friends or he has with your friends, that may not be a very good sign. “Show me your friend and I tell you who you are”. The people you hang around with are a reflection of who you are. No one will want to date someone who has negatively influential friends.
On one sunny afternoon, Eileen and Joe decided to go to the community garden where they played when we they young. “We had a quiet time together recalling our childhood memories and our various relationships,” she explained.
Having a relationship with someone who is not available emotionally is not to be encouraged. You need someone you can open up to, rely on, cry in front of them when things are not going on well. Someone who will go the extra mile to start a new chapter in your life and spend quality time with you. This is so important because such moments of connection are very essential in any relationship and makes you understand the person you are in love with.
“We talked a lot on many things and I had a very strange feeling with thoughts going through my mind. It felt different this time around him – I don’t know, but there was a beautiful feeling in me,” she said. “I had that inner feeling of security and felt a beautful type of comfort I have not had for a long time just by sitting on the bench besides him.”
“I don’t know how he felt, but what I can remember is that the next moment, he was looking at me deep down in my eyes as if he was struggling to read my mind through his eyes,” Eileen said with teary eyes.
“What I can remember is that our lips met and separated. For how long it stayed together, I can’t tell. Though I would have loved it to stay longer,” she added with a very bright smile. Eileen and Joe got married in February, two months after they discovered they were to spend their lives together.
For a relationship to last, the partners need to be sexually compatible in all its sense. I mean from how you are in bed and how you kiss each other. You don’t do it for pleasure alone, but for love. There should be that feeling of ‘I need some more’ or ‘I miss it’.
Both men and women may have similar things they will want to know before engaging in a relationship. However, there are some differences that are gender-based and which each partner needs for a relationship to be satisfying.
“I am a happy woman because I spent most part of my life being close to the person I valued so much. We loved each other so much. He was my soulmate,” she said with joyful tears. “The smile on his eyes when he whispered his last words ‘I love you, take care of the kids’ gave me strength to take care of our two boys and two girls,” she said smiling as I held her hands….