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Train the Mind to See the Good in Every Situation
July 20, 2020
How to discover your talents and passions
August 3, 2020


In our day to day life, we can easily adopt habits and lifestyles that do not uplift, sustain, and/or maintain our mood and wellbeing. It is extremely easy to be caught into the trap complaining about everything around us and justifying why certain things happen to us and blaming others for our unhappiness.  The post today will take us through 3 habits that we commonly do that can easily affect or even end our happiness.

Knowing what we should and should not do is crucial and essential to our happiness. Changing habits is not always easy, but with a few small changes, we will notice some improvements right away. Can you dare to try? If yes, keep reading to see what we can avoid so as to guard and protect our inner peace.

Read: 6 Solid Reasons Why You Should Laugh More

To focus on your happiness, it is always a good idea to have a goal in mind such you know what being happy does to you. For some people, it might be about managing their stress levels while for others it will be the ability to appreciate and enjoy life, and not be carried away by negative people and/or situations.

So, what are these 3 habits that can easily end our happiness?

1) The complaints

One of the most common characteristics of people who are happy is that they hardly complain. A good trick to know how happy you are is to count how many times you complain in a day, you would be surprised by the results especially if we complain about things that are nobody’s fault like the day is too windy, cold or cloudy etc.

Not complaining does not mean complying. When faced with a problem, we have two options, either we sink into our complaints or seek the solution to the problem. If there is no solution, complaining will only lower your spirits, so you might as well just accept certain things and move on.

One small change to boost your happiness is to stop complaining. When a complaint comes to mind, try to change perspective. At first, it will cost you a bit, but if you get used to it, you will automatically see yourself to be able to stop complaining in the long run.

Recommended Read: Do These 5 Things Daily to Live a Happy life

2) Self-pity

Giving yourself the pain of hosting a self-pity party is one of the worst remedies to your mood and overall happiness. It does not mean that we do not take care of ourselves or that we do not take ourselves into account, but it is not worth us dwelling and feeling sorry for the things that happen to us. It will cause us more pain than good to our health.


  1. Effects of Stress in Women
  2. Effects of Stress on Men

Self-pity can lead us to a wheel of sadness and far from providing us with happiness, it will take us away from it, and may fall into something more serious, such as depression. It is normal to mourn the losses and regret that things do not go as we expect, however, letting ourselves to be carried away by the feelings of self-pity will not be good for us.

3) Blaming others for your unhappiness

Although external factors can influence happiness, the truth is that our happiness is only our business. The things we do, and think, are only our responsibility, and what others do may affect you or not, and this is your decision. But what you cannot do is decide that others are to be blamed for your unhappiness.

You cannot expect others to change just for you to be happy. Take control of your situation, and if you do not like something, do what you can to change it. But knowing what you can change and what you cannot is a great asset.

Remember that the people around you do not change, so, to be happy, you will have to change for yourself. So, if you want to achieve happiness, stop making excuses, and go for it. If you do not like something, change it. I assure you that it will be worth the effort.

Necessary Read: Train the Mind to See the Good in Every Situation

I love this quote by Andrea Dykstra which states, ‘to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you’. Use those experiences as a force to propel you further in life. Aim to live the life of your dreams and if some people cannot handle that, then its their loss and not yours. (THE END).

Thanks so much for reading and hope the 3 habits mentioned in this post (which can end our happiness) will act like a little reminder for us to learn to move on and not dwell on the things that affect us in your day-to-day living and interacting with others.

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Have a great day and see you in the next post x

Yvette Mayemelle Kaba
Yvette Mayemelle Kaba
Founder of UIC | Wife | Mum of Two | Inspirational Writer | Mentor | Aspiring Entrepreneur


  1. Love this, thank you!

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